Outstanding! Hurrah! Thanks in your sweat!

Bad book review got you down? I suggest you start a blog. In no time at all, you’ll be on the receiving end of a whole bunch of relentlessly cheerful and laudatory spam messages. These messages are bound to lift your spirits, singling you out for your brilliant writing skills and giving you a great big virtual slap on the back. Sure, the English is stilted – even nonsensical at times – but the sentiment is clear. And here’s the great thing: no matter how vigilant you are about deleting these messages, they just keep stacking up, day after day, night after night. I’m told that this phenomenon is referred to in the industry as Black Hat SEO, but hey, whatever. It’s awesome! Hurrah!! Here, then, is just a small sample of the hundreds of exclamation-mark-laden eulogies I’ve received in recent weeks (because, you know, I deserved them): Continue reading

Megabytes of Mahal

Transcript of a discussion last weekend between my wife and me, concerning our recent trip to India (Delhi, Jaipur, Agra):

Gill: So, how many photos did you end up taking over there?
Shamus: Not sure.
Gill: I reckon you must have taken two thousand. At least.
Shamus: In one week? No chance!
Gill: But every time I saw you, you had that thing glued to your face, clicking away at something.
Shamus: Rubbish! I bet I didn’t even take a thousand.
Gill: [later, after she’d watched me empty my memory cards from camera to computer] So? How many was it?
Shamus: Um … two thousand and fifty. Continue reading